Thanks for writing this. I'm a public service attorney. I keep having dreams about putting file after file in my briefcase until it's too heavy to lift. Then I panic because I don't have my calendar.
Wow. Reading this I feel this as a deep sense of self-recognition. Except that my brand of helping was from the standpoint of 'coach' and 'business development' and 'event support' - so that when I did finally get to go home, I collapsed. That pattern took me out of the game entirely 6 years ago. I've been afraid to fully devote myself to anything since....I'm afraid I'll have to tap out again...I'm afraid I'll fail those who "need" me...to the detriment of my own nervous system.
Well, you're here now, on SUBSTACK! With us 🫶 Please be yourself and go all out on what you're best at. I'm no expert but I'll always be here to support you 🙌
In addition to rare reciprocation, I've found the same people who needed you to drop everything will turn on you in a heartbeat once they've regained their composure. It's as though they resent you because they thought they needed (even demanded) your help.
Exactly!! The moment they're "fixed", they'll waste no time pushing us away and finding eexcuses to be distant. I guess, after all, the ego does override humility :)
Oohhh yes! Gotta take care of that aspect too. I mostly keep it to myself when working with my client's Agency - so I don't really get reached out ( I think that's good hah).
Love it. What toxic empathy did to me, always trying to be everything to everyone. I find myself always instinctively leaning towards it, but I've leveled-up enough now that I can refrain from trying to be the solution and instead be there for them while they find their own solution.
So proud of you for getting out of that state! I know how hard it can be to control yourself from acting as the solution provider. 🙌 What you said - it's the best we can be for them.
When I realized one day that saying yes to what drained me was how I coped with the stress of possible rejection, I started moving differently. Step by step, I walked away from fawning (people-pleasing) on autopilot.
Honoring my boundaries is still hard most days, but at least I understand myself better. You’ve reminded me that I’ve grown, and I appreciate it.
The dilemma faced by today's generation is a significant struggle.
On one hand, I understand how vital it is to look after my mental and physical health to lead a long and fulfilling life.
On the other hand, it can be incredibly hard to disconnect from your phone, the pressures of work, people asking you to do this and that, and blocking out the white noise from news outlets reporting that the cost of living, prices, and job losses are at an all-time high.
I've had my fair share of struggles with burnout since I was 19 - three times I've had a breakdown, but each time I just kept trying to push through.
The tipping point was when I had two seizures at the end of 2024. I'm lucky I'm still here today, but I hope that people realise how crucial it is to seek help, so they don't break down.
Thanks for writing this. I'm a public service attorney. I keep having dreams about putting file after file in my briefcase until it's too heavy to lift. Then I panic because I don't have my calendar.
😆😆
Great article Sarvam. That used to be me (she says writing from a relaxing day at the beach!)
Thanks Stephanie! 🙌 And enjoy the beach hahaha
Wow. Reading this I feel this as a deep sense of self-recognition. Except that my brand of helping was from the standpoint of 'coach' and 'business development' and 'event support' - so that when I did finally get to go home, I collapsed. That pattern took me out of the game entirely 6 years ago. I've been afraid to fully devote myself to anything since....I'm afraid I'll have to tap out again...I'm afraid I'll fail those who "need" me...to the detriment of my own nervous system.
Well, you're here now, on SUBSTACK! With us 🫶 Please be yourself and go all out on what you're best at. I'm no expert but I'll always be here to support you 🙌
Feels so nice to be held and accepted, truly 🙏
In addition to rare reciprocation, I've found the same people who needed you to drop everything will turn on you in a heartbeat once they've regained their composure. It's as though they resent you because they thought they needed (even demanded) your help.
Exactly!! The moment they're "fixed", they'll waste no time pushing us away and finding eexcuses to be distant. I guess, after all, the ego does override humility :)
"I started practicing something called micro-boundaries." This is exactly how I started it, too! I can't believe how hard it was at first!!
Oh yeahh, super hard! Still not completely there as getting rid of what you've been "conditioned" to be takes time - but hey, here's to our GROWTH 🥂
Loved this. Setting boundaries doesn’t make you harsh, it makes you whole. The right people will understand.
101% Gotta look out for ourselves too 🫶 The right people with stay.
Io parlo del burnout come possibile causa del blocco creativo dell'artista ma credo che molte delle cose che dici abbiano influenza anche su quello.
Great post! And something we have to be aware of not only in our personal lives, but in business too - especially if you are a coach!
Oohhh yes! Gotta take care of that aspect too. I mostly keep it to myself when working with my client's Agency - so I don't really get reached out ( I think that's good hah).
Love it. What toxic empathy did to me, always trying to be everything to everyone. I find myself always instinctively leaning towards it, but I've leveled-up enough now that I can refrain from trying to be the solution and instead be there for them while they find their own solution.
So proud of you for getting out of that state! I know how hard it can be to control yourself from acting as the solution provider. 🙌 What you said - it's the best we can be for them.
tysm, Sarvam!
Too understanding and everything is urgent. Oof, yes. Thank you for this, Sarvam!
Hoping you're giving yourself time now! Substack's here, just for that 😆
Oh, yes. For sure! That's why I like Substack so much!
Hahaaa same!
Another amazing article, Sarvam!!
Thank You, Jessica! 🫶 Really appreciate you for taking out time for this.
You’re welcome, Sarvam!!
Of course her name is Jessica 😆
Hahaha 😅 We in the same boat
When I realized one day that saying yes to what drained me was how I coped with the stress of possible rejection, I started moving differently. Step by step, I walked away from fawning (people-pleasing) on autopilot.
Honoring my boundaries is still hard most days, but at least I understand myself better. You’ve reminded me that I’ve grown, and I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing this, Sarvam.
The dilemma faced by today's generation is a significant struggle.
On one hand, I understand how vital it is to look after my mental and physical health to lead a long and fulfilling life.
On the other hand, it can be incredibly hard to disconnect from your phone, the pressures of work, people asking you to do this and that, and blocking out the white noise from news outlets reporting that the cost of living, prices, and job losses are at an all-time high.
I've had my fair share of struggles with burnout since I was 19 - three times I've had a breakdown, but each time I just kept trying to push through.
The tipping point was when I had two seizures at the end of 2024. I'm lucky I'm still here today, but I hope that people realise how crucial it is to seek help, so they don't break down.