Nice post, Sarvam. Sounds like you have been through a lot. What you point out to do is valid, not easy to do; your mind will find ways around most "blocks" you create, but those are the right steps. Thanks for the post.
This has been such a huge thing in my life, because I was so unsafe for so long. And sometimes I could predict enough to be able to prevent the bad things. Just often enough that it was like the dopamine of a gambler’s high. 😂
I’ve been learning to slow down, breathe and just be in the present moment. Usually with my hand on my heart and my eyes closed. I still get caught in the loop, but it’s been slowly tapering off.
I wish I had found something like your article years ago- so much good information!
I used to be an overthinker. I believed I was a problem-solver because so many ideas were flowing through my mind.
While taking the course on financial empowerment, I discovered Human Design and learned that, energetically, there is always a flow in my mind, unless I am alone, somewhere in nature.
And it truly makes a big difference: less traffic, no mental highway, only nice flow or emptiness.
“One’s judgment will diminish with prolonged deliberation.” ---Lord Takanobu from The Hagakure
I am an overthinker. I have to work daily to keep it under control. When I feel like I am losing my center, I turn to yoga or martial arts to find my way back.
I concentrate on my breathing. I have been doing breath meditation for 30+ years. Sometimes, I still find it a bit tricky to quiet the noise, but I keep trying!
Yeah, that was the missing piece. Thank you. Breathwork helps me as well, but I never concentrated on it while doing yoga, and then I thought yoga doesn't work for me. :)
Totally feel this! Overthinking makes even the simplest decisions feel heavy. Personally, hitting the gym pulls me back into my body when my mind won’t shut up.
I think it's beautiful how our unconscious is always trying to protect us. Sometimes (or many times) it uses mechanisms that cause us discomfort or social challenges, but it's only because that's how we learned to protect ourselves when we had limited tools to deal with life. It's super important to recognize that these are not flaws, this is care from one part of ourselves to another.
Ikr! This kind of self-compassion changes everything. The moment I stopped seeing my patterns as flaws and started seeing them as protection, my healing stopped feeling like a fight.
So beautifully written. I feel even safer when people empathise with me. I think I’ve always had a kind of allergy to people who tell me, “You’re too much in your head”. It’s a sign I should avoid them, as an ex-people-pleaser it’s a waste of energy to keep those kind of people close. Secretly, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction when my therapist once said, “Yes, you think for others too”.
Haha, I felt that. There's something so validating about being understood without being “fixed.” And yep, definitely avoid them. Your therapist really did give a life hack lmao 😂
So interesting. I over-think, over-explain, over-communicate everything. I've read recently that it's a trauma response. This adds a bit more depth and nuance to my understanding. I've never thought of it as a coping mechanism!
Same here Bree! I used to think over-explaining made me clearer. Turns out, it was just me trying to feel safe. Calling it a coping mechanism honestly helped me soften toward it.
Nice post, Sarvam. Sounds like you have been through a lot. What you point out to do is valid, not easy to do; your mind will find ways around most "blocks" you create, but those are the right steps. Thanks for the post.
This was really relaxing to read for me. You made me feel normal.
This has been such a huge thing in my life, because I was so unsafe for so long. And sometimes I could predict enough to be able to prevent the bad things. Just often enough that it was like the dopamine of a gambler’s high. 😂
I’ve been learning to slow down, breathe and just be in the present moment. Usually with my hand on my heart and my eyes closed. I still get caught in the loop, but it’s been slowly tapering off.
I wish I had found something like your article years ago- so much good information!
Thank you!! Didn't realize something so short go mean so much to you 🥹
Also, I felt that gambler’s high part way too hard 😂 I used to think being 10 steps ahead was safety, but it was really just survival mode on repeat.
I used to be an overthinker. I believed I was a problem-solver because so many ideas were flowing through my mind.
While taking the course on financial empowerment, I discovered Human Design and learned that, energetically, there is always a flow in my mind, unless I am alone, somewhere in nature.
And it truly makes a big difference: less traffic, no mental highway, only nice flow or emptiness.
Wholly shit, that was a hevreka!
“One’s judgment will diminish with prolonged deliberation.” ---Lord Takanobu from The Hagakure
I am an overthinker. I have to work daily to keep it under control. When I feel like I am losing my center, I turn to yoga or martial arts to find my way back.
Thank you for the great article!
How do you shut your mind down while doing Yoga? I was never able to do that. Somewhere, my thoughts slipped through and started annoying me.
I concentrate on my breathing. I have been doing breath meditation for 30+ years. Sometimes, I still find it a bit tricky to quiet the noise, but I keep trying!
Yeah, that was the missing piece. Thank you. Breathwork helps me as well, but I never concentrated on it while doing yoga, and then I thought yoga doesn't work for me. :)
Totally feel this! Overthinking makes even the simplest decisions feel heavy. Personally, hitting the gym pulls me back into my body when my mind won’t shut up.
I think it's beautiful how our unconscious is always trying to protect us. Sometimes (or many times) it uses mechanisms that cause us discomfort or social challenges, but it's only because that's how we learned to protect ourselves when we had limited tools to deal with life. It's super important to recognize that these are not flaws, this is care from one part of ourselves to another.
Ikr! This kind of self-compassion changes everything. The moment I stopped seeing my patterns as flaws and started seeing them as protection, my healing stopped feeling like a fight.
So beautifully written. I feel even safer when people empathise with me. I think I’ve always had a kind of allergy to people who tell me, “You’re too much in your head”. It’s a sign I should avoid them, as an ex-people-pleaser it’s a waste of energy to keep those kind of people close. Secretly, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction when my therapist once said, “Yes, you think for others too”.
Thank you for explaining it so clearly.
Haha, I felt that. There's something so validating about being understood without being “fixed.” And yep, definitely avoid them. Your therapist really did give a life hack lmao 😂
So interesting. I over-think, over-explain, over-communicate everything. I've read recently that it's a trauma response. This adds a bit more depth and nuance to my understanding. I've never thought of it as a coping mechanism!
Same here Bree! I used to think over-explaining made me clearer. Turns out, it was just me trying to feel safe. Calling it a coping mechanism honestly helped me soften toward it.
That beginning hurled me in. This is very insightful
So glad I could help you relate to it 🙌